Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I am the definition of social retard

Sorry I haven't been around and doing my bit. I've been busy with school. Will start picking up the slack with lots of clicky love.
Here's a quick post about how I hate myself.
Perhaps later tonight or tomorrow I'll put a better, longer, more interesting one.
Right now I just want to let you know I haven't died. ;3

K, so I broke up with my ex about 3 weeks ago now.
Feels bad man.
Anyway finally THE TERRIBLE DEMON HAS STOPPED RAVAGING MY HEART FROM MY CHEST WITH A BLUNT SPOON and I'm ready to get back into the game.

There's a cute guy in my class and we've been making eye contact and smiling at each other for a couple of days. Unfortunately he's from Turkmenistan (maybe? I really can't understand his accent. It's cute though.), I'm from Australia. I don't speak Russian or his native language, he doesn't speak much English and we're both learning beginner Chinese.
Like; "This is my pen! That is her book! My name is...." beginner level.
So communication is pretty much impossible.
I live outside the university, instead of in the dormitories like most of the foreign students.
It's not far enough to be worth catching a bus and just far enough with a medium hill en route to be a pain in the ass to walk home.
The guy's cute passed me a few times on his scooter and waved at me.

Anyway yesterday afternoon, he caught up to me after class and in broken English offered me a lift.
At first I thought he was trying to get me to go home with him for a one afternoon stand.
Then after I agreed I wasn't sure I'd heard him correctly and stood there feeling weird while he unlocked his scooter and just nodded his head to my questions. I silently debated whether or not to just walk off.
Would it seem weirder if I'd heard him incorrectly and I just hung around until he drove off? Or weirder if I'd heard correctly and just randomly started walking away after agreeing.
Blargh.
Luckily I had heard correctly and he started up the scooter and rolled over to where I was standing, offering me a seat.
Small social success! At least until we were on the way.



I couldn't understand his accent and gave him the wrong directions. Twice.
Second time was pretty close to my house and went like this.
"Turn left?"
"Uhh what?"
"Left turn here?"
"Sorry....?"
"Left?"
"Um, yeah, sure."
I quickly realised we were going the wrong way and cursed myself. I should try to listen better.
Anyway when he paused, I just hopped off.
"Sorry, my house is that way. Its not too far, talk to you later."
Walk away rapidly
I think to myself shit, forgot to say thanks. He must think I'm rude as well as weird.
So I turn around and shout awkwardly back "HEY! ummm ....thanks!"
He looks confused and just sorta nods as he's trying to manoeuvre his scooter back around without hitting  any cars or being hit.
I turn back around and practically sprint to my apartment building, feeling a heavy blush beating underneath my skin the entire way.
I don't even know his name.

Goddamnit, why am I so socially awkward?

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